#13 wips that I am actively working on. if you were wondering why I’m not posting as much art on my other blog lol

[steampunk-raven]

do I keep working on my current wips or should I start some other project

[heycaricari]

Well here we go. My first ask. Tagged by the inimitable @mortifyingideal Behold, Tumblr, the inner workings of my soul...

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1. How many works do you have on AO3?

27 under this name 😬

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

476,208

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Ho boy... Ok. I am probably forgetting a few but the big ones were LOTR, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Star Trek TOS & VOY, Spooks, Silence of the Lambs, and of course Good Omens!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Top, Anthony, Silk, Saltwater, and Any Other Way.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really truly try to. When I'm in a place where I'm actively creating content and happy with what I'm putting out, responding is easy. There's nothing I want to talk about more. When I'm in one of the troughs, not so much.

The appreciation is always there though. ❤️ I love that people care about what happens to my characters. The idea of my thoughts coming alive in someone else's imagination makes me feel like an ALL POWERFUL WIZARD.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It will surprise no one to hear that I'm not a big angst writer. Ive tried but apparently I'm not a pessimist but a depressed optimist in disguise. Who knew.

Ive got a few dark chapters - especially in PL - but I think the endings make up for them.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

No. I barely manage continuity in one fandom.

8. have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes.

9. do you write smut? if so what kind?

Yes. The wholesome kind.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. Not in this fandom but in one of my previous incarnations. I always used to wonder how well the Scottish idioms came across...

11. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but I would love to give it a go someday. Preferably with someone who has a loose grasp of deadlines. And endless stores of patience.

13. What's your all time favourite ship?

It's hard to choose. All the pairings I wrote about had a very different dynamic.

I guess, as I got older, characters like Aziraphale and Crowley became more appealing to me. (It was probably that realisation that it's easy to fall instantly and dramatically in love, but finding someone who can also be your friend, who you can trust... well, that's a whole thing).

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Cold War human spy AU. It's research heavy and pretty dark.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Output. I have periods of time (usually days but occasionally weeks) when I can churn out copy like a room full of monkeys on typewriters. I have days where everything clicks. Sentences flow. Dialogue writes itself. Dangling plot threads find one another.

My good days are really good days - so I can double down and get a lot done.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I also have really bad days. They come from nowhere and, when they do, I avoid writing out of some weird fear that I've "lost" my flow and I'll never get it back. I put off working on things for weeks and, when I finally manage to sit down, I end up picking over what I've already got rather than working on something new. I overwork and lose confidence and end up screaming into the void. It's a whole cycle.

I am also not concise. I ramble and then resist cutting on edit.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I hadn't thought about it until this moment in time.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Lord of the Rings. Me and my sister used to write glorious (😂) epic romances which I would then type up and print off in the dead of night.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Fave multichap - "Cold". Not my most popular or polished (it's from before I met my wonderful beta) but I wrote as I posted - over the 12 days of Christmas - so I feel it's less filtered than my other work. I am really proud of some of the imagery I managed to get across. And I'd like to go back and spell-check it one day.

Fave one shot - probably New Life. It felt more real than the others. Maybe because it was from an outside POV. (Adam's).

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This was fun - thanks mort !!

[naralanis]

Fic Writer Review!

Thanks @mssirey for the tag! I totally didn't have a crisis with the very last question, not at all bwhahaha

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

41, soon to be 42. ASJKLDBLAHSDSD how. And also why. But mostly, how.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

565,934 EXCUSE ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I was going to check my unpublished works but ya know what. Maybe I've written enough akdjsa

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Technically speaking, I've written and published fics for five fandoms. However, I only have one story for OUAT (and I have @shadowdianne to thank for that... or do I?) and one for Captain Marvel. Mirandy was my first love, Cissamione the second, and Supercorp has burrowed in my brain and just won't let go.

I've also technically written for Xena, Legend of Korra, and Criminal Minds, but since I never published those, we're going to pretend they don't exist!

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Only two are WIPs! YEAH! They're the top two, but WHO CARES, here they are:

1) Perhaps, aka my baby, my child, my darling, the apple of my eye. If I ever had to choose to finish only ONE of my WIPs, this would be the one. This story has grown with me, and I think you can tell when you read. Or maybe not!

2) For the Better. If the former is my baby, this one is like... my moody teenager. I love it dearly, but... it takes a lot out of me. An ode to one of the first fandoms I actively wrote for, it sits unfinished, but nearly, oh so nearly done. I will finish it, damn ittt.

3) The Date. Honestly, this one really surprised me -- it's one of my oldest one-shots, and something I definitely dashed off between lectures back in Scotland, maybe alternating with FtB chapters. It's one of my first attempts at humour, I think.

4) Bits and Pieces. AYY, I wasn't sure Supercorp would make the cut, WOOOT! This one was the second Supercorp fic I ever wrote, and I did it because Lena Is Baby and the idea just wouldn't leave my brain.

And lastly, the fabulous number 5... Perfect. AKA Nara's First (published) Explicit Fic, featuring Praise Kink and an Enchanted Dildo (for... reasons). I'm not gonna lie, I am so HAPPY this one made it, because it has a special place in my heart. It's where Soft Butch Hermione comes to life, and if you don't love Soft Butch Hermione, I'm sorry, we can't be friends. I love her.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Eeermmm... some? I do want to respond, but I'm terrible with keeping up with comments, I really am. For whatever reason, even when I do my best, I don't really love responding directly on AO3. I also turned off all email notifications for AO3 because turns out my brain WILL be distracted by even a single one.

I'm much more responsive on Tumblr, I promise!

6. A fic you've written with the angstiest ending:

Any of my Narlily works, I guess? Like... All Flowers Wither or Carry On.

Unshackled would be another one, though it's Cissamione... but I caved and made a happy(ish) second part for that one.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope! Crossovers just don't do it for me, generally speaking (reading or writing).

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

EvEr rEcEIvEd hAtE-- yes. Oh, yes. I've been told my writing is terrible, I've been told my stories were a 'waste of time,' or 'overhyped,' I've had people tell me there was only One Way to write a certain pairing and my way was definitely Not The Way.

The list goes on.

It used to really, really bother me--still does, but in a much smaller way. Delete/Block buttons are my friends.

9. Do you write smut?

I write an absurd amount of smut. I just don't publish any of it because. Fear.

My pretty, pretty pens have created some filthy, filthy things.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A couple of times -- only once or twice like, straight up attributed to someone else who acted like they were the one writing it. The other times were reposts or translations (without my permission, so still. stolen).

11. Ever had a fic translated?

I've authorized a couple of translations of a few of my DWP works. I'm usually cool with people translating my stuff IF THEY ASK ME FIRST and GIVE ME PROPER CREDIT.

9/10 it's some Brazilian who translates it to Portuguese without my permission and then gets upset when I, another Brazilian, do not endorse it and politely ask them to take the thing down. Thankfully it's been a while. ASK ME, DAMN IT.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nothing published bwhaha!

13. All-time favourite ship?

Right now SuperCorp is definitely barking a little louder, so to speak, but I don't really have one favourite overall. It depends on the fandom, sometimes! Cissamione is very dear to my heart, because it's just so fucking out there and literally every one in this ship has some of the most fascinating headcanons for this pairing and it's just. So wonderful.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

Eeeeuuughhh.... Right now? Probably The Appraisal. I forget what I wanted to do with it, I'm not sure if I'm still feeling the premise... IDK.

I think the same could be said of For the Better, but I PROMISED to finish it, and GOD DAMN IT, I am so close I can't throw in the towel just yet.

15. Writing strengths?

You want ME to say good things about MYSELF? I'm still learning how to do that asldkjbasdn it's a work in progress. But I think I'd say... maybe world-building, at least on my longer works?

I would also like to think I do pretty OK in... IDK, some of the punchy stuff? The 'oh wait a minute' moment? IDK if that makes sense!

16. Writing weaknesses?

Organizing. Plot (HAHA IKR). Consistency. Editing (which is rich from someone who literally edits shit for a living... but go figure). Pacing. Weirdly long sentences? Commas for DAYS.

I could go on.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I am a-OK attempting it in French/Spanish/Portuguese. It may not sound natural, but it will be correct. If I'm trying another language, I'll definitely get help! But I've got no problem with it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Harry Potter, Dramione specifically, and you'll never find a shred of it. I was like 12, and almost a decade later I figured out Hermione was much better off with Draco's mother.

19. What's your fav fic you've written so far?

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOOSE asdkljasdl I CAAANNN'TTTT

I mean, obviously Perhaps is one of them -- it is my baby, that has been established. I think Little Bumps in the Road is also up there, because it was just a random writing exercise that got out of hand, and honestly? I'm here for it. Andddd.... I GUESS I'll put A Valentine's Evening up there as well, because it was the first time I didn't second guess every word I wrote when posting smut. I just... felt it, went for it, wrote it, and it felt really, really good to release some of that into the world lol

WHEW, this was a long one! I'll be tagging @intheinkpot, @shadowdianne, @delirious-comfort, and @16-pennies because I am a curious bastard. But, as always, feel free to treat this as an open tag. Go nuts!

[myaekingheart]

20 [Fanfic Writer] Questions Game

Thank you so much for tagging me, @lemony-snickers! This is tons of fun, I love answering these kinds of big questionnaires 😂💕 Also putting mine under a cut because there’s a lot of questions and I like to ramble. 

Also gonna go ahead and just tag whoever wants to do this! 😅💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of August 27, 2021, I have a total of 77 works on my AO3! 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Funny enough, I was just looking at this, specifically, earlier today and kind of laughing about it. Right now, my total word count across all my works is 1,148,941 😬 

3. How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Apparently 12, but some of them I don’t really consider “big” in my fandom repertoire. Naruto is my greatest fandom with a total of 60 fics so far, followed by The Chronicles of Narnia and Rise of the Guardians. The rest are ones I either did crossover fics with or just did one-off little pieces with--The Incredibles, Tangled, Brave, How to Train Your Dragon, Arthurian Mythology, Disney Princesses, Fairy Tales and Related Fandoms, Back to the Future, and Frozen. 

4. What are your Top Five fics by kudos?

The Scarecrow and The Bell (Naruto) - 470 kudos The Day Kakashi’s Mask Slipped (Naruto) - 139 kudos Sunflowers (Naruto) - 92 kudos Sakumo the House Husband (Naruto) - 81 kudos Someone to Lean On (Naruto) - 67 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to comments, because I like to acknowledge when people respond to my work. I cherish comments like nobody’s business, especially when they’re kind and reactionary. I just really love seeing/hearing what people think of the way a story is progressing, or what they thought of a one-shot. Comments keep me going especially when it comes to longfic so I want to be able to let readers know that I do in fact see their comments, that I’m acknowledging what they’re saying, and that I appreciate them. Plus, it can be kind of fun to tease upcoming events in a fic through responses to people’s comments, too. Because I’m mean. 

6. What fic have you written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Hothouse (Rise of the Guardians/The Incredibles; Jack Frost x Violet Parr; American Horror Story AU). This was the first multi-chaptered fic I ever wrote to completion and I honestly cringe when I remember it exists both because it’s so poorly organized (and full of nasty plot holes) and because I just went ham on the gore factor. It definitely has a really bittersweet and heartbreaking ending to it, too. 

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think I’ll definitely have to say Temptation. The story itself was kind of a ride, and it’s only the first installment in a series, but it follows the plot of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe but remixed due to the presence of an original character, but the ending is still roughly the same as the original: they defeat the evil, the Pevensies are all crowned kings and queens, happy days. Reading the last few paragraphs of the last chapter honestly still gets me all up in my feelings. 

8. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I used to be more of a crossover writer due to one of my main ships being a crossover ship. They weren’t super crazy, though, because they were both CGI-animated films. The craziest crossover I’ve ever written is an in-progress/unfinished multichapter piece, Kakashi, Enchanted, that sees our favorite Copy Ninja get kamui’d into the Disney princess dimension and has to help the likes of Snow White, Cinderella, and Rapunzel on his journey to find a way back to his own world. It’s a super weird premise but definitely one of my more lighthearted works and fun to revisit when I need to decompress. 

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t think I’ve ever received hate so much as I’ve received criticism. The closest I ever got to hate on a fic, I think, was someone left an overly personal and mentally disturbed comment on a chapter of my main fic that made me convinced they needed to seek therapy and deal with their own personal issues rather than take it out on a fanfic about animated ninjas. 

10. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Maybe 👀 I’m super vanilla when it comes to smut, though. I think the wildest thing I’ve ever written in smut is breeding kink. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, and I hope I never will. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet! I had someone ask to translate a one-shot of mine in Russian but I never got a response back when I laid out my terms and conditions. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not! I used to do paragraph-style roleplay which was kind of like cowriting fanfiction but writing is so personal and sacred to me that I don’t know if I could ever actually cowrite a fic with someone. I like brainstorming with other people, but writing for me is more of a deeply personal and independent endeavour. 

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oh god, this is a tricky question because it depends on fandom. I absolutely love New Dream (Rapunzel x Eugene, Tangled) and have for the past ten years, and my love for them as only grown since watching Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. I don’t write or even really read a ton of fanfiction for them, though. I’m also still highly dedicated to my favorite crossover crackship, Frostfield (Jack Frost x Violet Parr, Rise of the Guardians/The Incredibles) and to this day, if you search for that ship on AO3, I am the sole provider of every single fic about them so far. I’m not as active with them as I used to be, but they got me through some really rough times back in the day and still mean so much to me. A lot of my favorite ships across fandoms, though, are honestly canon x OC ships of mine because I am a self-indulgent bitch who needs to project. So Peter Pevensie x Eilonwy (The Chronicles of Narnia) and Kakashi Hatake x Rei Natsuki (Naruto) are really important to me and I’ve poured so much of myself specifically into their stories. I think it’s safe to say Kakashi and Rei is my all-time favorite ship across all fandoms, though, just because of how much their story means to me. The Scarecrow and The Bell is my magnum opus, my pride and joy, and I’m sure it will be my biggest fandom footprint of my entire life. I’ve dedicated the past three years to this story and these characters and I intend to continue doing it until it no longer brings me joy (which I hope it always will). There’s just so much I could say about this story and Kakashi and Rei’s relationship but I don’t think we have enough time or space in this post for that 😅 Just know that they mean the world to me and I will always hold them in the highest regard as a beautifully messy, flawed, passionate, soulmate-y ship that I love with all of my heart 🥺

EDIT: I also feel obligated to tack on some of my absolute favorite Naruto ships because I may not have written for all of them (yet) but they still make me unbelievably happy or I find them really compelling and enjoy the idea of exploring them: 

Naruhina is precious happy sunshine and The Last honestly felt like a wonderful Disney princess movie to me, it was so cute and the romance was so on-point, Naruhina just makes me so incredibly happy and I love them with all my heart. 

MinaKushi also gets me all up in my feels and I adore them with every fiber of my being. Their romance also gave me Disney princess movie vibes which I love, their story is just so damn sweet as is their character dynamic and I am still so heartbroken that they never got to be a happy family with Naruto because you know what? It’s what they deserved!

SasuSaku is so compelling to me and I really feel like we were cheated out of seeing their relationship develop and evolve postwar in the same way The Last did for Naruhina. They’re my favorite angst ship and while I don’t think they were written that well in canon, I love the possibility and potential of them together and am excited to explore them more in-depth in my own writing. 

NejiTen is just too cute, I really love the way Neji and Tenten’s personalities compliment each other? I don’t have much else to say about them except that I really love them together and think they have so much untapped potential that I also can’t wait to explore in more depth in my own writing. 

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Paper Hearts and Impromptu Bookmarks, probably. I love the premise of this story a lot and I have so many interesting ideas for it but at the same time, it also feels kind of cheap and cringey to me, in a way? It takes all of these ideas I probably would have had if I had been into Naruto when I was a kid and kind of compiles them all into one big story. Kakashi and Aiko’s relationship and story is still really important to me and I want to continue it someday but for right now, I just haven’t had the motivation or desire to write any more of it. I think I’m just so overwhelmingly preoccupied with writing Kakashi and Rei’s story that I can’t imagine writing any other Kakashi x OC fics right now. 

16. What are your writing strengths?

I want to say that I’m really good at capturing complex emotion? I don’t know, I write a lot of angst and mental upheaval in my fics which can be really difficult to try and capture, but I think I do a decent enough job of it? And just writing difficult subjects in general. I think it’s really important to address difficult topics such as mental illness and relationship difficulties and everything but I also want to try and write those topics in a way that is both authentic to the experience while also still tasteful. I don’t want to drive readers away with heavy subject matter but rather present a situation that feels real and authentic while also still being digestible. I may not be doing a very good job of that during the current arc of my fic that I’m working on, but I’m trying haha

EDIT 2: I also want to add onto this to say that I’m really proud of my organizational techniques for writing longfic. It’s not necessarily a strength in terms of the prose itself but it’s something that’s taken me years to really get a grasp on and find a method that works perfectly for me and so far, it’s been extremely helpful and beneficial to me. I don’t know where I would be now as a writer without these essential tools in my pocket. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I do a really bad job of the “show, don’t tell” thing. It can be really hard to balance descriptive prose with straightforward writing that moves things along. I don’t want to dwell on mental dialogue to the point where you lose track of what’s going on, but I also don’t want my stuff to read like “Character A did xyz. Character B said abc. They went to 123″, whatever. Another thing I struggle with is sentence variation. I always fall into the same patterns when I’m writing prose and I get really self-conscious about it because I don’t want to sound repetitive or disrupt the flow of the writing. One of my favorite things about prose is focusing on the cadence of the words, I think it’s one of the most beautiful things about writing in general, but it can just be really difficult to get a good grip on that. I’ve been told in the past that I apparently have a really good grasp/control of the language or whatever but sometimes I just find that really hard to believe when I look at my work with such scrutiny. I think one of my biggest pet peeves with my own writing, too, is feeling like I start all of my sentences the same five different ways. I’ll read other people’s works and they’ll write sentences like “Glass-blue water lapped against the shores of a deserted beach as a lonely woman gazed off into the distance” and I can just never figure out how to realistically write sentences that start like that in the context of my prose and it drives me fucking crazy, like I’m definitely jealous  😅

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never really thought much about it before, but I think there are pros and cons! For bilingual/multilingual readers, I think it can be a really enriching reading experience because they know what’s being said in both languages. For people who only know one language, however, unless a translation is provided, I feel like it can be really alienating. I think the best use of that for both worlds is using it as a means for miscommunication humor. Other than that, I think it can be a slippery slope that depends on what kind of reader you are and how it’s written. 

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Chronicles of Narnia! My very first fanfiction was a Narnia fanfic that I barely remember except that it laid the basis for Temptation and my Narnia fanfic series as a whole. I never posted this first iteration anyway, but I remember it was 2008/2009 and I wrote a solid 80 pages (which was wild for me at the time) and had gotten halfway through remixing the events of Prince Caspian when my computer crashed and I lost absolutely everything. I’m still heartbroken that it’s gone forever, not because I’d want to go back and read it necessarily (since I’m sure it was actually hot garbage) but at least for nostalgia’s sake. Either way, like I said, this long-lost fic laid the basis for the very first fanfiction I ever posted, the first published (and never finished) iteration of Temptation back in 2011 on deviantART and the since-defunct Figment. I fell out of the fandom around 2012/2013 and left the story alone for a while before ultimately deciding to completely redux and rewrite the story when the fixation swung back around again between 2016 and 2018. 

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Despite the fact that it’s still in-progress, definitely The Scarecrow and The Bell. This fic just genuinely means so damn much to me and I will cherish it for the rest of my life because of how much it’s given me, how much love and passion and time and even parts of myself that I have poured into this, and also just how expansive of a story this is. Not only does it touch on some very dark and heavy topics, but I’ve also created so much of my own characters and meta for this story that it’s almost an entire universe in and of itself. I’ve just contributed so much additional world-building and created so many new OCs to fill important roles in this story and in Rei’s life, and they’ve all become so deeply important to me as they’ve developed further over the years. I’ve come up with so many interesting ideas for everyone and their lives, which are all slowly becoming so rich and varied. Not to mention that it’s my most popular fic to date as well as my longest fic at 632k and counting. I’ve really just genuinely poured so much of my heart and soul into this story, it’s my absolute favorite thing I’ve ever done and I really mean it when I say that I will cherish it for the rest of my life. 

[yehet-me-up]

Content Tag Game

Tagged by EXO sister-wife Kat @yeoldontknow​ <3 1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

3. how long have you been writing? on this blog?

uhhh I definitely wrote half of several harry potter and lotr fanfics in HS but that was ‘the dark times’ many moons ago. so as an adult this is my only fandom! just stumbled into kpop and stumbled onto fanfics in the most backwards way possible (was sent a meme of a 1D ‘imagine’ and was like hey I wonder if they have these for kpop and then I found them and they were not a meme, but were fucking incredible AND NOW 4 YEARS LATER (started August-ish 2017???) here we are hahaha)

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

oh dear god i just remembered I have an AO3 account..... WHOOPS, shit 😅 might need to, y’know, update that at some point. jfc adhd object permanence is something else.

5. what is your favorite genre to write?

Personally it’s sci fi/fantasy, but here in the fanfic space I’d say..... uhh slice of life, romance, angst but make it a happy ending?? fanfic is a way for me to share all the sort romantic hopeful feelings I have about love and life and friendship and purpose 💕

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

Used to be a pantser when I started this (and when fics used to be like ?? 3k-5k) now that fics in general are longer for one-shots and series my good lord I need an outline. Especially for exo mall which is *insert meme of crazy guy with the bulletin board* a lot for my brain haha

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

I’d say mine are usually 5k or so?? some series were shorter per chapter, depending on subject matter. I tend to write like... interconnected long as frick oneshots, so i don’t count those as chapters ☠️

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

uhhhhh good question haha. my book was 95k and I think exo mall is like *dammit math* 140k or something that has significantly gotten out of hand. I have two more fics so it will probably be like 180ish when it’s done?? not including the drabbles to come haha 

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

I loved No Quarter and torturing Kat with her husband, also staying up all night to finish Chanyeol’s exo mall knowing kat had NO idea it was coming was a BLAST. Kyungsoo’s exo mall was one of the most ‘in the flow’ writing experiences i’ve ever had. I wrote this Baek oneshot at like 3am when i couldn’t sleep once and tbh it felt like I wrote it in a dream. ja;slkfjasd I love so many of these this is like a trip down memory lane, so I’m going to be a wh*re and say two more haha.  This is the most honest and close to ‘real life’ thing I think I’ve written on here (and also one of the only sex scenes I didn’t lose my goddamned mind trying to write a;sldkfja;sdf). And lastly Ablaze, which was the longest thing I’d written (I think) and let me know that hey? maybe I could write a book someday <3

11. favorite request you’ve have written and why (if any?)

This request for Exo Mall Baek was such a joy to write! And for some reason this Taeyong drabble makes me wish I had the time/energy to write it into a full story, it gripped me so much when I wrote it, like a movie had fully downloaded into my brain out of nowhere.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

For sure! I’d say found family is a big one. Trusting that you’ll find your place even if things don’t make sense or you feel unsure. Believing that love is worth the risk and fear of trusting someone ;laksjdfal;sd. That love can be big gestures and super intense, but that after that fades away it’s the small daily moments that matter most - the people who stay and listen when you’re sad, holding hands and forehead kisses, taking care of people when they’re sick or scared or just need company, showing up to try again or to communicate even when things are hard. 

Someone commented on a fic of mine ages ago that I helped them see that real love (of that small, daily, consistent kind) is possible and MAYHAPS I cried because underneath it all, that’s what I’d want people to take away - that love of all kinds is scary, but it’s always worth it in the end <3

13. current number of wips?

Surprisingly just ... 3? wow how time has changed hahaha. I have Jun + Baek for exo mall (plus some drabbles but that will be something people write in about, so I wouldn’t consider them wips) and then I maaaaay continute on here with the Jun + Min regency baes series. We shall see :)

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

1. I can’t NOT write Baekhyun as the biggest cheesy dork in the entire world 2. That I’ll always have endless fantasy world to live in. I have to try actively to not start new WIPs because it’s so damn easy to be inspired. If I’m ever bored I know that I can jump into some story and let myself be carried away for a while 3. that who and how i am in real life is not usually the same person that i am when it comes to the vibe of my writing, and that that’s totally okay <3

15. a quote you like from a published story.

“I wish it had been with someone like you, though,” you say, squeezing his hand.

“Someone like me?” he says, raising his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

You look down at the floor, trying to figure out how to put how he makes you feel into words. “Yeah, someone strong, and steady. And safe.”

He lets out a laugh. “Safe? That sounds awfully similar to boring.”

“No, no. You don’t understand,” you say emphatically, coming to stand fully in front of him, grabbing his other hand as well. “You never ask me to be anything but who I am. You’re patient, kind, caring. For the longest time I thought that falling in love would be stifling. That it would… I don’t know, take my independence. Take my spirit. Make me into someone I don’t recognize.”

You step closer, holding his face in your hands. “But I can’t think of anything I want more than to be with you. You make me the best version of who I am. I don’t know how it is for you, being with me. But when I’m with you, it just feels like… home,” you finish gently.

- from Kyungsoo’s exo mall because THIS is how I feel about falling in love now, and this story was me working out what I believed about the process (like a goddamned emo bish haha)

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

For a moment you allow yourself this weakness. It won't destroy you to admire the strong lines of his body, the intensity and focus in the set of his brows, the deep, warm color brown of his eyes as they - oh lord, he's looking directly at you. As he notices you watching him his lips press into a small smile, inclining his head towards you.

'Oh no,' you say, mortified. In a breath you've blinked and drawn your arm through Maggie's, weaving your way through the crowd and dragging her with you.

'What's wrong?' she hisses in your ear, slightly off-kilter from the drink and revelry. 'You're going to tear my arm off.’.

'Sorry, he -' With a hand you push through the front doors, gulping in the cool night air and breathing deeply to steady the erratic pace of your heartbeat. 'Maggie, what's happening to me? He looked at me and I felt so... naked. I can't explain it.'

She realizes you aren't in actual distress and laughs. 'Good. About time you fell in love. I'm delighted.'

- From perhaps a future chapter of Jun and Min regency baes series....

17. space for you to say something to your readers.

Thank you so much. Truly, from the bottom of my heart. This fandom brought writing back into my life after such a long time away and I had no idea I would love it so much. The friends it’s brought me and the kind words that made me cry or cheered me up on a shitty day or made me laugh out loud and the watching other writers grow on their journeys. Getting to hear how something I made could help you feel less alone or less sad on a shitty day is all I’ve ever wanted from sharing all this. Thank you for being here and thank you for sharing parts of yourself with me <3

Tagging anyone who sees this who would like to do it, even if you don’t consider yourself a “real writer” yet (yes you are, stop doubting yourself!!!!) 😘

[itslucyluna]

Fan Fic Tag Game 2020

Thank you @ailec-12 for tagging me! 

Ao3 Name: Lucy_Luna

Fandoms: I was active in the HP, Spider-Verse, and ATLA/LoK fandoms this year.

1. Fic that was the hardest to write/you spent the most time on: The fic I’ve spent the most time on is Long Way From Home, the eighth story in my Severus has a little sister AU series. It’s not really been difficult to write per se, just time-consuming. There’s just been so much I’ve had to write to tell the story.

2. Fic you spent the least time on/easiest to write: I think it’s no surprise the stories I’ve spent the least time on this year are the one-shots I’ve written. Like My Ancestors Behind Me, Names, The Sky is Wrecked and Full of Rotting Clouds. However, I would say my easiest to write has been To Make The Bridge. Once @ailec-12 gave me the idea for it, the story just really came together in no time. It’s essentially all written except for an epilogue I’m still deciding on.

3. Longest fic: The longest fic I have worked on this year is They Didn’t Know We Were Seeds. I haven’t really written a lot for it this year though. I would say the longest story I’ve put the most work into this year is Long Way From Home.

4. Shortest fic: My Ancestors Behind Me. It’s 836 words.

5. Fic you were nervous to post: I really don’t get nervous before posting. However, I think the story I felt most uncertain about before posting was The Prince's Return. I wasn’t sure what kind of audience there would be for it. However, now that I’ve posted, there does seem to be a small amount of intrigued readers, so I’m happy!

6. How do you choose your titles: I really don’t have a set way of doing it. Like, I guess I just try to find something that sort of tells what the story is about. For example, with my Spider-Verse stuff, there’s one story called An Unexpected Visitor. Surprise surprise, during the story someone unexpected visits. Lots of the stories written in that fandom have uncreative titles like that.

7. Fave fic you read: I think I’ll pick a one-shot and a multi-chapter. I discovered and really enjoyed pretend you don't have one by TheTartWitch. It’s an AU nonlinear one-shot about Severus Snape from the start of his time at Hogwarts until I wanna say shortly before Harry becomes a student. My favorite multi-chapter is Salvage by MuffinLace. It’s an atla AU where Zuko ends up on Hakoda’s ship and ends up basically being adopted by him. I absolutely loved and am loving seeing Zuko become his kid and a part of the crew.

8. Fave fic you wrote: That’s hard. I don’t think I could say I have an all-time fav. I liked writing everything, but To Make The Bridge was especially enjoyable. It’s been a really relaxing story to put together actually.

9. Fave comment: This one from @ailec-12:

“AHHH, the feelings of this chapter! Finally, Sirius realises that Severus's odd behaviour is a consequence of the abuse he suffers (suffered) at home. I like that we have the same headcanons regarding how Sirius reacted when arguing with his parents. I think it fits him a lot that he felt better for "earning" his punishments without giving up on doing something to fight them.

Snape had never taken anything from him or James or anyone else lying down. Why would he do the same with his parents? What made them so different? Just because they were supposedly authority figures he let them belittle and hurt him for no good reason? That didn't sound right. Sometimes, even with the professors, Severus would row with them over detentions and lost points.

Ohhh, but this quote. I, too, think that the reason why Severus never backed down from a fight at Hogwarts is to regain some control. Whether it was fighting the Marauders even outnumbered or confronting professors, he was convincing himself he was not a coward, he could start some fights and win them. As always, this is my headcanon, since we hardly have any information about day-to-day affairs in the Marauders' Era. It's so fun to try and guess, though! Especially when you see some of your guesses reflected in a fic.

Also, Sirius realising that he's behaved somewhat similarly to his own parents with Severus and, right away, feeling crushed by guilt is everything I needed to read today. His apology is another big step to improve their relationship further. I love reading character development and I wonder how sixteen-year-old Severus would react to it —whether he would still be willing to accept that apology or would firmly believe it's all a trap.

The scene with the chocolate frog card was adorable and just the cherry on top Sirius's apology needed. It also reminded me I'd sorta forgotten about them in my fic, hahaha. I'll have to introduce them as a tribute to your story!

He'd have to find a way to make the friendship he made with this boy-Snape stick and pull him over to the right side of things when they were the same age.

Yesssss. Now, I can't stop picturing the Marauders (plus Lily) introducing Severus to Remus's parents. So freaking adorable.

And that cliffhanger after all the wonderful feelings!!! I can't wait to keep reading!”

Without it, To Make The Bridge would not exist. And as I said before, it’s been a lot of fun writing it. So this is my fav comment this year :)

10. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: I won’t, but I guess if there’s any story I’d rewrite ever it’s They Didn’t Know We Were Seeds. It’s a hundred chapters. I think I could definitely go back and combine a lot of chapters and practically halve the length as well as just improve what’s there to be more fleshed out. As for what I could definitely expand on, it’d be my Severus has a little sister AU series. I already have plans for a story after Long Way From Home, but that story has already got me thinking about even more stories for the series. 

11. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning: Ah so many choices. I’ve been writing a little bit here and there for all of my WIPs lately. Here’s a little something from what will be the second chapter of The Prince's Return:

“I can’t say I know what happens after this for you, but it seems to me whatever negotiations Jinora and Tenzin have with the spirit world on your behalf will end well and everything will be put right again,” he concluded, smiling in reassurance at the nonplussed boy.

Zuko stepped back and out of his grip. “Nothing ever goes that smoothly for me,” he declared like a threat — or, maybe, a warning.

Iroh showed his palms to the boy. “I don’t know what to say to that,” he said. His grandfather had never seemed that unlucky to him. In fact, Iroh had thought he was always very lucky. Against all odds, he’d changed the world for the better.

12. What was your goal for your fics this year? Did you meet it?: I didn’t have any hard goals really. I wanted to finish a few things, which I did. However, I also started a few things, so, I’m not really writing less. Which is actually okay. That was also something I hoped I would do this year. Write more than I didn’t. 

13. What is your goal for your fics next year?: Finish Long Way From Home, To Make The Bridge, and The Prince's Return.

14. Highlight of your fandom year: The new season of The Umbrella Academy? That was fun and I liked checking out the new fanfics that came out after it too. Also, The Haunting of Bly Manor was fun to binge around Halloween.

15. Highlight of your personal year: I finished a couple of traditionally published books, as well as a cross-stitch and am halfway done with another.

[shadowdianne]

Ok people. Time has come. Let’s be ominous and extra on main

So the order for me posting all my WIPS at once will probably be.... the order in where I finish doing all the editing. I’m currently in my last prompts. I’ll still answer the ones I recieve by the end of the week if there is anyone feeling like sending me some.

Aside from that ...

A few months ago I posted a really rambling text about me leaving the SQ fandom writer wise after the SuperNova was over. In the way it’s over once we all put the fics where they will, later on, be revealed. The full explanation of why I’m doing this is even more rambly than the one I gave and is full of nuances that I’ve talked about a little bit with a few of you.

However, I want to say something about it either way. Because words are the way I communicate the most with. And that’s something that I guess is obvious about myself in a myriad of different ways; not only with my fics.

As I’ve said a few times before, SwanQueen was not my first fandom. If I need to pin it to the moment when I actively began to search for fandom-related things, of how I first stumbled into fics and what that entailed…

Going really back in time my first fandom experience was with Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura. Yup, that. I was really into anime back in the day and, don’t ask me how, I stumbled into a website that no longer exists that had these pages upon pages on something people called “fics”.

It was around the same time I was building my own sexual identity so you can imagine the mess; I devoured those fics. Most of them were not even good. Most of them had some questionable themes thrown around. Most of them had language on them that I needed a few years until I realized that was hurtful. But some others taught me what “angst” meant, what “hurt/comfort” was, why “fluff” was about or why “smut” at my tender age of 12/13 was something I wasn’t entirely grasping.

Again, I devoured those fics, I searched for more, I found livejournal and ffnet. By the time I started fully diving into fanfiction livejournal was slightly abandoned so at the end I focused entirely on ffnet and from there… Pretty Cure (another anime) Strawberry Panic and the even more dubious Kannazuki no Miko followed. I found some amazing writers I still follow today and whose stuff I will forever adore on MaiHime/MaiOtome and, eventually, Kim Possible. I still didn’t write though. Probably because my English at the time wasn’t the best, my writing voice in Spanish was barely a murmur and while I had always been the “weird kid who likes to write poetry and if you ask her nicely she will write you a story on the spot” I had never truly considered… writing and posting on the internet.

Funny thing is that this kind of things are like that and those who are content creators will probably understand that: You NEED to create. So, eventually, slightly older, and full on the whole Twilight era, I wrote a very… cringey fic. And then another. And another. And another.

At first I didn’t know shit about editing. My actual first review told me I was horrible at writing, that I was a mess, that I should stop. But my second review told me: “Hey, if you do this and that on the editing process it will help you and this will be more readable.” And I followed that comment. I eventually became friends with that second reviewer but, as life tends to be, I lost contact with her years ago. I still hope she is doing ok though.

Eventually, I started working, if working is something that one can say about writing a chapter in 20 minutes and throw it every Wednesday while your mother is at work, not monitoring what you are doing and you have the internet for yourself back when the internet went through the phone, in a multichaptered story. It is in Spanish, it is awful, characterization is horrible… but it also made me meet the person that became a very important person. And still will be for that younger version of me. 

From twilight and the occasional writing on the HP fandom with the Hermione/Ginny pairing [Yeah, I wonder what younger me would think of my current main pairing on that fandom] I “graduated” to Glee. Lots and lots of Glee.

And then I stopped. Completely. Not a peep from me. Not a word, not a line. For over a year.

I was a fan and a shipper, however, of this little show called Once Upon a Time. I started watching in the pilot, in a very shoddy link a friend sent me over gmail. I fell in love with the characters but while I loved them I couldn’t… or wouldn’t really, put myself into writing. At the time my English was slightly better but my confidence levels were even lower than currently are. And the ones who have talked to me can safely say how horrible I am at taking compliments.

Yet, I had a very meaningful conversation, one I don’t know if she remembers still, in where I was told: Writing is you. If you want to write… like you did when we first met, why don’t you do it? I tried with a wip that is still there, buried beneath other stories now, that I never fully took off. And then I said fuck it and wrote several others, badly written, even worse characterized, but ones that helped me say… why not.

Disney World Family Business (in case there’s even someone here who read that mess) comes from there. Interview with the (Evil) Queen does too. Dancing Ring (who I’ve seen people roasting me over it and it’s fine because it was awful) was too. Texts on the cloud was there too, Coffee Black News… Eventually, I wrote a fic I’ve erased since then called The Holiday. Over 2k per chapter every day. I did it under a month.

It was… interesting. It was exhilarating. It was magical in many ways. And I had my favorite writers of course. Those who I followed religiously. Who I absolutely admired. And who I, to this day, still admire. And I even get to call them friends now which my younger self would probably be having a meltdown about now xD

I had opened my tumblr account way before that but I had never truly used it. I didn’t know how. Eventually, though, I dusted it off. I put some cringey theme there and I posted, after being sent a couple of random prompts here and there over ffnet pm’s the first “prompts anyone?” post I ever did.

It’s funny because now I’m a tease but the first time I asked for prompts I did it asking for words that I promised I’d make a smut ficlet out of them.

Words of Desire was born. Is, to this day, the one I feel cheekier about. Even if the writing is awful xd I even got my ffnet account in the line of “am I going to get deleted?” after I posted a story called “Lips”

Why I’m writing all of this you guys probably don’t care about? Because that post led to another. And another. And another.

Point is. I felt drunk on the sudden realization I could still tell stories. And so I kept doing it. At some point I opened my a03 account. Don’t remember exactly when in this story but I was crossposting some of my stuff at some point bother in ffnet and a03 so… who knows really. And then I kept asking for prompts. Or I got them asked. And so I did.

And I met other writers, and other content creators. And I loved it. I absolutely loved watching OUAT and then shit on the show and then create fix it fics at 3am on a Sunday. And I learnt about the narrative process outside class. How fanfiction truly is its own genre. I started developing my own ideas. I started looking at books, at people, at places around me with a critical eye I later on developed further to be able to specialize myself in literature. Because, at the end, that’s what I minored in.

I had roleplayed, I had written conjoined narratives. But fic writing at the scale SwanQueen was during the OUAT was still airing was something else. It still is in a way, but different now. And I think those who were around during the fucking show that basically did us a lot of bad in many ways was a different approach that currently is.

During those years not everything was good of course. I hit several walls, I didn’t have the ability to create the stories I wanted. It is not the reason why I’m leaving, I’ve spoken about the reasons -plural- with some of you. So I won’t bother you all more than I’m already doing.

 I still love these ladies. I still don’t know how I will open a doc and not write their names. Maybe I relapse from time to time, who knows. Yet, the constant feeling of not being enough, of not being good enough, has devoured pretty much all my creative juices.

I was talking a few months ago with a writer I absolutely adore and I can’t tell her this enough and we were talking about writer’s block. And she said something that is devastatingly true. “You don’t have a creative block now. You’ve had it for a long time now.”

And I didn’t even hesitate when I answered “Yes. I know.”

How do you have a block when you keep posting? Well. By choosing safer options, options you know you will do on autopilot, without emotion even if you know you should be feeling it. And while writing is part of who I am and a huge part of my own emotional stability the fact that I simply cried when I saw the numbers and the stats while being bombarded with anons that I deleted most of them the second I got them… well. It’s far too much I guess.

I love SwanQueen. And to those of you who I’ve created a friendship over the years with I’m not leaving tumblr and I’m not walking out on you. I’m remaining here. You guys are going to need to do more than this to get rid of me Xd

But I do need that. Otherwise I will keep picking safer options, options that I know will take me shorter and shorter time for me to write. And that’s not quality. And not what I want to write. Because while I love writing about them the pressure and the fear and the rejection and the many other little details have outweighed the good. 

Regina is a stubborn woman. No matter what fic you guys are reading or writing. I’m a little bit like her in that department Xd

I’ve finished my wips and I gave myself a few months after that first post so I could create closure and, you know, give you all the best I could do. I felt more relaxed at having a date set. I still feel dread at losing my ability to write now that, probably, the number of prompts will be smaller. But I hope I will still get news from you all. And don’t be mistaken. Me not writing doesn’t mean me not reading. I’ll be actually able to read more so expect lots and lots of fic recs on my side and comments on those fics. So hey, everyone wins.

To those anons, those gatekeepers.

I hope you all wake up one day and realize you are alone in the pit you’ve created for yourselves.

To fellow content creators: There’s always this game I play, on trying to find those headcanons that are truly yours, the ones that repeat themselves on every fic. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a headcanon per se. It can be a word, a special mannerism. I treasure those. I often link you to those in my mind when I’m thinking about you all. Thanks for creating. And thanks for being you.

To everyone really: It has been a few amazing years. Thank you all.

VIVA LA SWAN QUEEN

-Dianne out.

[nakey-cats-take-bathsss]

10 Question Tag Game

Tagged By: @burninghoneyatdusk thank you for the tag! Also like fangirling just a little tbh (I elaborate on this further in the post but v excited to be mutuals!). I love these little things, they’re so freaking fun! :)

1. What’s your favorite genre to write

I’m the rom com girl for sure, I love super sappy love stories with minimal drama for the most part. I am a huge member of the happy endings camp. I’ve only ever written Modern AUs because of this but also kind of because I just like to leave canon alone and I struggle to balance the sci fi elements at times in regard to continuity. Also a major softie for kid fics, which I don’t think counts as a genre but I’m including it anyway.

2. Do you pull inspiration from real life? Or do you pull things from other books/fanfic?

My main Bellarke series is rom com AUs based off of romantic comedies and I have a few other stories based off of TV shows. So I would say for the most part I tend to draw from media. A lot of the kid stuff I write comes from babysitting and having nieces and nephews lol but that’s really the only real life stuff I draw from.

3. Do you tend to write one-shots, short stories or longer things?

I mainly write long fics, brevity is not my strong suit for sure. I love writing slow burns so multi chapter fics tend to be structured better for that. But I’ve just started delving into one shots and I’ve really been enjoying it! It’s kind of nice to give someone a peek in a world without giving away too much. I’ve been loving one shot prompts so if you have any please send them my way!

4. Do you prefer description or dialogue?

Definitely dialogue! It’s the way I infuse humor into my stories most of the time and I love the back and forth or writing characters flirting. Description is a little harder for me because I know setting the scene is important but it’s so mechanical that I tend to lose my train of thought!

5. Favorite fic/book of all time?

This is such a hard question! So many things I could write here and I always have a hard time narrowing down options...

Books: Harry Potter was a super important book series for me growing up, I also love anything by Bob Goff because he’s so inspiring and positive and I just recently finished Where the Crawdads Sing which was so southern, beautiful and tragic all at once (would highly reccomend).

Fics: so I’ve had a recent obsession with @burninghoneyatdusk ‘s fic “Homesick (It’s a bittersweet feeling) guys it is such a beautifully woven love story i thought about it for DAYS after I finished reading 10/10 amazing!! Also anything by my dear pal @ktanansi but her quarintine fic is so sweet and spicy just ugh love it!

Hmm those are the two I’m actively reading rn, I have a hard time seeking out fic to read but if you write modern AU romance or have any good ones send them my way pls!

6. Favorite Tropes

Friends to lovers! Kid fics! Adopting kids in fics! Two people who aren’t together raising kids and falling in love! Slow burns! Enemies to friends to lovers!

Seeing a pattern here?

7. Are you the kind of person to work on more than one WIP?

Hmm this is tough! I go back and fourth on this...I have two fics I wrote by themselves and focused solely on them and I am absolutely more emotionally attached tho those stories. I think for stories that are a little more serious and intricate I like to focus on them independently because I want to be able to keep the storyline and plot details straight (Instant Family was one of these). But with more lighthearted things I tend to work on a few at once so that the humor stays fresh and I don’t let it get to angsty.

8. How long have you been writing for?

I got my start on FFN when you still had to give copyright warnings and you could leave author’s notes in the middle of your fics lol...meaning I’m ancient as heckingbob y’all. I think I’ve been writing for over 13 years? I used to write cringe worthy dramione fic and Rory/Jess fic for Gilmore girls back when I had no idea what relationships were and I thought a huge kiss at the end was a great piece of tension relief!

I took about an 8-9 year break and then fell onto the Bellarke fandom and wrote “Life as we Know it” on a whim! I’ve been back for almost a year now and everything about fan fiction is so different (a lot of it in a good way) but it’s been so wonderful to be creative and write stories again.

9. Do you tend to write more in the afternoon or evening?

I work full time in PR and am also in school so I tend to do most of my writing at night while I’m unwinding with a glass of wine ;) this is the way I decompress from my job hahah it’s why I often give Clarke some interaction of my career and take all my frustration out on it! It’s also usually something I do whenever on weekends when the inspo strikes.

10. Do you prefer to post your WIP chapter by chapter, or do you prefer to wait until it’s 100% done before posting?

I think for me, the best part about writing fic vs writing traditional novels is the ability to get chapter by chapter feedback and communicate with readers as I write! I love seeing the little nuances people find in my writing (often things I don’t see myself) and incorporating it into my stories. There’s also been times where I’ve had certain plot points planned and then scrapped them based on the reactions to the build up! So I think I’m for sure a chapter by chapter person!

Tagging: @ktanansi @sassmasterblake and anyone else who wants to do this (I need more author friends send me ur fics I want to read them!)

[stylinbreeze60]

My “WIPs”

Thanks @sugaandyams. I don't get tagged too often, so thank you!

“The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.”

Oh my goodness. I had stuffed saved in all different places. I’ll start with the folders that contained fics that are incomplete. Welp, here I go!

Great Galactic War - this folder is the dump for my Haikyuu space/war AU, one of three or four fics I may focus on writing in the near future (first chapter is already published); the folder has very little atm, but I have about two dozen different scenes on my phone that aren't saved on PC

Kenma Project - the dump for my actively ongoing Haikyuu next gen captain war AU. I have a file in here further titled Ennoshita chapter. I wonder what that’s about? ;)

Three Kings - the dump for my Haikyuu samurai AU starring Hinata and Noya, the second possible fic I may commit to writing (first 2 chapters already published); there’s a chapter outline (which is dated because I’ve updated it in my head so much), and there are notes and many chapter tidbits on my phone too

Vice - the dump for a canonverse Haikyuu fic that was borne from a desire to write more Nekoma, so I subjected them to debilitating angst. There’s a rough chapter outline in here, and there are a couple of chapter drafts saved as emails on my phone. It’s the third fic that I might commit my time to (first 2 chapters, starring poor Inuoka, already published)

March of Justice - this folder was the dump for my aborted One Piece/My Hero Academia crossover, in which a couple of One Piece villains travel to the BnHA universe to conquer it

And here’s the rest I found. Some of these are just notes on fanciful ideas I had for a day and then never revisited. Others were never intended to see the light of day whatsoever

Abe dake ga Inai Machi - Oofuri-Erased - oh goodness. I had to stare at that title for a while to figure out what was wrong with it. An Oofuri/Big Windup fanfic that I didn’t play with for very long, but I was surprised to find I actually wrote the first chapter. Like Boku Dake ga Inai Machi (Erased), there’s a murder and then Abe finds himself transported back to the start of the Oofuri series, 10 months earlier. I reread some of this first chapter, and by my standards, it’s awful

Ace of Diamond - scandal fanfic - one of the ones never intended to see the light of day. It’s just notes. Basically Seidou pulls off its own Black Sox scandal and gets nailed, with some drama over whether Eijun is actually guilty

Ace of Iron / Ace of Swords - a Diamond no Ace samurai AU, mostly notes but also including drafts of a first chapter. It grew so huge there was no chance I could ever write it as a fanfic, so I actually converted it into an original story idea that I may do something with some day

Big Windup - cheating ploy disaster - this one is just notes and also never intended to see the light of day. An Oofuri idea in which Nishiura’s defeated rivals suspect them of cheating and kidnap the club boys to force them to confess. It goes even more downhill. (I’m very glad that, since discovering Haikyuu, I now conceive fanfics I actually want to write.)

Day of the Countercoup - I had to dig to find this one cos I knew it existed, but it wasn't a file. It was a tab in an Excel doc I used for my Haikyuu political AU, Coup d’Etat. It’s notes for an aborted sequel (Coup d’Etat’s original title was “Night of the Coup,” hence this contrasting title) that I scrapped soon after starting work on it. So glad too! Coup d’Etat got its due, and that AUverse shall be left to itself now

Haikyu - Gospel of Shouyou - oh goodness. I’m not gonna explain this one. Me experimenting, not intended to see the light of day

Haikyu - Nightmare from Heaven - this one may be the fourth candidate for continuation as a long-term fic but is currently unpublished. A war/occupation fic in which Miyagi Prefecture is conquered during a contemporary World War III, and the Karasuno boys must now live under foreign military occupation. The first chapter and part of the second were written, and I've got several notes on my phone and PC about subsequent chapters. Thank goodness tensions in that part of the world have simmered down since I devised it

Life Hereafter - Chapter 6.5 alternate ending - oh no. Life Hereafter is my darkest and most sensitive fic, published only on FFN, written to process a RL tragedy I was distantly affected by. I struggled with the ending of Chapter 6, which covered Tsukki and Yamaguchi’s coping with the canonverse tragedy. One draft (called “6.5″ in case I ever wanted to publish it, but I likely never will) featured Tsukki, seeking solace and desperately wanting to console Yamaguchi, giving in to poor judgment and kissing him. Only to then learn Yamaguchi doesn't have the same feelings back. Topping off their hurt with this was far too cruel and painful, and even before I started typing it, I knew I wouldn’t actually publish it. Rereading the draft even now made me feel uncomfortable which is why I kept it because it’s perhaps the best friendship-ruining moment I’ve ever written

Oofuri fanfic - Sakura Conspiracy - I thought I wrote a chapter 1 draft too, but this is an outline for a WWII Oofuri AU in which Nishiura, after winning Koshien in the late 20s or early 30s, moves on to military and political careers, one of their former teammates dies under suspicious circumstances, and Mihashi fears one of his old teammates may be responsible. The story stretches from 1937 to 1945

I'm actually surprised I found no notes on my Haikyuu mafia AU idea. I guess I never actually transcribed any, even though the plot is substantially complete in my head!

These four are all notes for gigantic crossovers:

Periods of World fanfic - This was an experiment, in which each century from 2000 BC to 2000 AD was listed out, a different part of the world selected for each century, and then a different anime or manga assigned to each part of the world. The idea was to write a chapter set in that century in that area starring those characters. The last chapter, for the new millennium, would have covered all parts of the world. The file is dated 2013. It never became more than this list

Periods of World fanfic 2 - and so it seems I tried again! This file is dated 2014 and shows just a teeny bit more dedication, with the 20th century further subdivided into decades, then every year from 2000-2009, and then every six months for 2010-2014. There are some different anime choices than the 2013 version. Never went anywhere with it, never gonna

Reborn epic crossover anime tribute layout - yes, that’s the literal filename. This is from my days as a Katekyo Hitman Reborn fan, and I don't even recognize most of the character names anymore. Apparently the villains of Reborn travel to seven other anime universes to kidnap major characters to sacrifice them as part of some weird magic scheme that I can’t properly decipher now

Random multi-anime WWII fanfic plan - yes, that’s also the literal filename. This is an outline for a 50-chapter crossover set before and during World War II, where the main characters of Naruto are Russian, One Piece are British, Bleach are French, Katekyo Hitman Reborn are German, Blue Exorcist are Italian, Fairy Tail are Japanese, and Ed and Al from FMA are American. The plot is emotionally devastating, doesn’t pull the punches on all sorts of WWII-related triggers, and frequently and cruelly denies catharsis.

To be perfectly honest though, rereading it, I swear this is the best story I have ever invented! It has a heartrending blend of tragedy, poignant poetic justice, subplot causality, and social commentary and contains few of the traps I sometimes fall into like cheap shock and subplots going nowhere. I really wish I could do something with this narrative now

And I’ll count the hefty handful of TV scripts I’ve written in an effort to practice and hone my scriptwriting skills. All but the last one of these are hypothetical new seasons of real anime:

Blue Exorcist s2 - 1 episode. My attempt to write the Impure King arc, years before they actually produced the Impure King arc. This was not my best work

Noragami: God’s Secret - 2 episodes for a manga-based Season 3. These were pretty decent imo

Oofuri/Big Windup: The Coming of Fall - 17 episodes. I got really into this one. A speculative season 3 assuming three cours (imo we probably won’t be blessed with that many episodes if season 3 comes), covering everything up until the end of the fall tournament. The first 13 episodes covered the story up to chapter 84 minus the Kasukabe match, followed by an OVA (ep 13.5), and then I was working on the Kasukabe match told in hindsight before planning to continue with the big game of the fall prelims. The third cour would have covered the fall tournament itself

Mekakucity Actors XX - 4 episodes. My own idea for a season 2/alternate ending. Because I was very conflicted with how the anime ended

School Babysitters - this was an original episode idea for Gakuen Babysitters that I enjoyed writing very much but turned out too long (40 pages) and features the babies turning into insects. I wouldn't mind publishing it somewhere actually!

I am going to tag @wire-pudding and @kemoiunder! Anyone else who reads this and wants to explore the abyss that is non-started WIPs, be my guest too!

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @marvelatmytrash for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Bee, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

I think I had just turned 22, I was fresh out of undergrad and wanted a way to keep my writing and editing skills sharp while I job hunted.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I think I’ve only written reader inserts. I usually leave their physical attributes nondescript but I definitely create intense personalities to all my reader inserts. I think I do this because I want my readers to imagine themselves as these strong, kickass females, who are also vulnerable, but have weak spots, the same way all of us do. I put a lot of effort into creating strong female characters that still have flaws, no Mary Sues for me!

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

I love writing Marvel. I pretty much only write Marvel, predominantly Canon because I have so much comic book knowledge, plus I love writing fight scenes.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Oh lord, probably Compensation and Consequences, its just a small little one shot that I did as a request but its a Game of Thrones AU. It definitely has some problematic choices in it, I totally shoe horned the sex and attraction into it. Overall it’s just trash.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

I always find myself writing at 1am or onwards. A lot of the time I’ll just knuckle down around 1am and do what I call a writing sprint, where I’ll write all the new parts for whatever stories I’m working on and get them all done in one night, then edit the next day and start queuing them up.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

This is so embarrassing but I get most inspired by listening to musical soundtracks. There are a couple of my stories that have direct song quotes from Waitress and Heathers. Musicals are so rich and overdramatic, they have always been a big part of my emotional development. So whenever inspiration strikes I have a whole playlist of angst songs or love songs from various musicals that I just play in the background on repeat and I will shamelessly pull lines directly from them.

7) In your Divided series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Ooo that’s such a tough one, honestly that whole series is just one of my absolute favorites. But if I had to choose, I think the chase scene in Bucharest. It’s so dynamic and there is so much happening and I honestly watched that scene frame by frame for a week and worked this original character into it step by step.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I’ve never changed the story itself. A couple times I’ve changed the formatting at peoples suggestions. I didn’t chunk my paragraphs well when I first started, but someone suggested I break it up more so I did. It’s little changes like that, but I would never change what I write because someone dislikes it. My writing is for me, I’m just sharing it with others for fun.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Bucky. Absolutely Bucky. Though I am warming up to Steve. He has such dimension to him, he’s been a favorite of mine ever since I started reading comic books. His story is so sad and in-depth and there has always been room for new details and development in every reboot. He’s such a dynamic character and that makes him such a treat to write.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Hahaha I guess Thor, but I actively avoid writing him cause his tone is so hard to get right without over doing it, so I’m not sure if he counts. Tony is tough too, cause you want to be quippy and clever without being over the top, and that’s a very fine line.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Divided series?

I am a big fan of one word titles, maybe I am just on the Disney train with Tangled, Brave, Frozen, etc. I love it when one word can encapsulate what the series is about and also when the word has more weight than just it’s basic meaning. Aftershocks, my first series, is a good example of this. The main character has suffered from shock torture and has a lot of scars and residual issues from it, but Aftershocks is also a psych term sometimes used to refer to the radiating effects of PTSD on the victim and those around them. Divided was the same way, it encapsulated both the theme of Civil War which is the changing and division of Tony and Steve’s relationship and also shows how Bucky and Steve, though still perceived as a unit are Divided now by not only their different experiences but their competition for the same woman.

12) How did you come up with the idea for Divided series?

I’m honestly not entirely sure. I had this basic idea of working a reader into Bucky’s story in Civil War, but the original plan didn’t have Steve involved at all and definitely wasn’t on the level that Divided eventually became. Once I decided that the reader would start with Steve, it immediately raised the stakes of the whole story and this character of The Scorpion began to take shape. After that, the whole thing got pretty easy, she was a fully formed character and a lot of what happened in Divided was just me asking myself what choices this character would make and how the surrounding characters would honestly respond. I try really hard to just develop my characters thoroughly and then let them make honest choices, I think that’s the best way to keep a story real and authentic.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Oh yes, my hidden shame, and it haunts me. It’s called Royal Flush, and it currently has 3 parts. It’s a T’Challa fic and a lot of people have found it and liked it and I feel so guilty that it hasn’t gone anywhere in a year. Honestly, this mess up is totally on me. I never draft out my stories, and I know I should, I usually just make it up as I got along and sometimes I just hit a blockade with where it’s going to go. I definitely want to finish that fic, but just have no idea how, so if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, throw them my way!

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’m going to say Divided, just because it is one of my favorites and I so deeply love Scorpion as a character. Her struggle in Divided was so hard and I hate to leave her there just heartbroken. I have drafted a couple followups for that story, but after how Infinity War ended, I feel like it would just be cruel to put her through losing Bucky all over again.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

I am happy to say that there are none that I would do differently. I’m extremely content in how they all ended.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

I mean first and foremost, I have to talk about @imhereforbvcky, she was my first real friend on here. We started talking when I was writing Aftershocks and I eventually convinced her to take a crack at writing herself and she finally did and wrote this incredible fic, I’ll Be Good. It honestly is so amazing! Mee specializes in the fem fatale, she writes these incredible badasses that are all dark and twisty, I honestly don’t know how she makes violence so elegant, but she does.

@denialanderror is another one, her Melodies series is so perfect and lovely, she gets this beautiful vulnerability to Bucky that just attacks my heart. It’s such a wonderful change of pace from the way that I write and I always reread it whenever I need to be reminded of the soft parts in his personhood. I honestly love it so much and recommend it to everyone. Plus she is an amazing friend and such a fun person to send memes back and forth with.

Finally @bitsandbobsandstuff just full on destroyed me as a person with Safe With Me. That story honestly puts everything I’ve ever written to shame, her deep understanding of Bucky as a character is just like nothing else I’ve ever read. It’s such an in-depth story with an incredible slow burn, if you haven’t read it yet, you are missing out.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

I cringe a little bit with Aftershocks, my first series, but I also see a lot of value in it. Whenever I get stuck or think my writing isn’t good enough, I reread it and remind myself how far I have come as a writer, and that always helps to get me back on track.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Both, sometimes I just have the same song playing on repeat in the background, other times I need complete silence cause the monologue in my head is flowing so quickly. I definitely edit in silence, I cannot hear my tone or catch my mistakes when rereading if I don’t have silence.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Hahaha I have, I cried while writing a couple parts of Divided, that story is very close to my heart cause the love triangle in it is unfortunately something that happened to me, and I accidentally hurt someone I cared for a lot.

20) Which part of your Divided series fic was the hardest to write?

Hahaha probably the one or two sex scenes I snuck into it hahaha. It was just not a story that really leant itself to smut. Like you’re not going to be running for your life, camping out with fellow teammates and just quietly have a fuck in the dirt. So squeezing those sex scenes in there always felt a bit funny to me, but I think in the long run they both fit and were put in at appropriate times.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I probably should make an outline but I always just go with the flow, I honestly have no idea where my stories are going till they get there. But I do reread my story whenever I get stuck so that way I can tie things back in or close up lose ends.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

To breakup my paragraphs and use the keep reading button hahaha

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I am currently feeling that way about a story I just started called Siren’s Soldier, so I paused it for a little bit to see if it was worth continuing but it recently got a bunch of love while I was in Italy so it might be time to come back to it.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Nothing that I’ve written to be honest. There are a couple of exceptionally problematic stories that have an absurd amount of notes and that bums me out, just because I don’t like seeing those kind of relationships idolized or modeled. To clarify, the issue I have is that these kind of stories have a lot of gas lighting, self harm, non consensual sex, and sometimes even violent relationship dynamics. I work very hard to make sure that my characters model healthy relationship habits and positive communication because we need to stop romanticizing rape and abuse in relationships, so it bugs me when fics that do that are popular.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

I model my readers off of specific parts on my own personality. I essentially take one side of myself and just exacerbate it into a whole character. I am a very independent person and a feminist myself so a lot of my female characters have those similar qualities of independence and confidence. Especially when doing reader inserts, you want to make the character someone that you yourself want to be, your alter ego, someone to escape to. That’s why I’ll let my characters, be selfish or shitty communicators but I’ll never let them get down on themselves, we do enough of that in our real lives, lets not do it in our fantasy lives.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Hmmm this is a hard one, @imhereforbvcky sent me a very disarming compliment the other day that totally moved me to tears. But most of the ones that really hit me are when people recognize the amount of effort that goes into everything, or when they message me to talk about my story and see all the little easter eggs I’ve tossed into the early chapters. I also live for every reblog you’ve ever done, they always make me feel so loved and valued, I’ve honestly have gone back and reread your reblogs when I’m feeling down on my writing and they always pick me back up. It takes a lot of time to create a world and characters and tie everything together in one neat story and having that recognized always makes my heart sing!

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I haven’t really gotten a lot of harsh criticism, I’ve gotten bullshit anonymous messages that are just mean, but no real criticism. I’ve gotten constructive criticism but a lot of that has been kind and helpful so I don’t take that personally at all.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

@imhereforbvcky and @denialanderror and I have a group chat on instagram so whenever I’m particularly jazzed about something I drop the premise into that chat and get their feedback but most of my big twists or turns I keep close to my chest so that way they can be a surprise to everyone.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction? In my real life?

Some people. My best friend knows but she’s never read it. My boyfriend knows and sometimes reads the smut I write and will use it against me in bed. He frequently likes to quote some of my own lines to me, he thinks its funny, I don’t find it as amusing. But he is a lot of my inspiration for writing positive relationship dynamics, we work really hard at having a healthy, communicative relationship and that manifests in my writing frequently.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

I really like Om, this character I wrote for Siren’s Soldier, they are non binary and do not have a set gender identity so that was fun to play with and extrapolate on, especially because their non-binary personality had a lot to do with their power so that was really cool to explore to explore.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

I generally get really excited when things are free flowing so I guess I spur myself on. I take a lot of joy and pleasure in the things I write and feel my stomach twist when I’m writing suspenseful parts, so a lot of it is just my own enjoyment.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

I’m a sucker for the slow burn, so I love writing the enemies become lovers trope. Usually I don’t actually start them as real enemies, but they never start close or as friends. I’m not a big fan of the falling in love with my best friend trope, as I have a bunch of guy friends that I have never once had an urge to fall in love with haha.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Oh god, I honestly can’t. I wish I could. I didn’t start reading fanfic until after Civil War came out and I graduated from college. I remember being in a place where I was just disenchanted with porn but I was super into marvel so I went looking for marvel smut on the internet and found the Bucky smut rabbit hole. I remember reading a lot of different stories and never finding exactly what I wanted and also finding a lot of problematic sexual relationships. At that time I was working as a sex education teacher and I remember thinking that I could write better smut with healthier relationship dynamics, and I did. That’s how it all started.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Ooooh blimey, this is impossible because I write a combination of all three most times. I guess I would have to say angst, causing it doesn’t get boring so easily. There are so many angst tropes to explore and play with. So yes, definitely angst.

[purplefictionmom]

I'd normally be like "ALL THE QUESTIONS" but I'm really interested in 7 and 15 (but like if you wanted to do them all then hell yeah pls do)

You know what, Imma answer them all, cause I love you darling~

All answers under the cut, cause I’m sure I'll get long winded, as usual haha

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?I mean, there was a story that I had been sitting on for...10 years, I think? I just didn’t know how I wanted to tell the story. It started as a mockumentary type of thing, then when that didn’t fit the narrative style I wanted to tell, I moved to a classic modern fantasy style, but that didn’t pan out either.

Then, the game called “What Remains of Edith Finch” came out and it hit me so hard that I nearly passed out: that is the perfect narrative style for the book idea I’ve been sitting on!!

Incidentally, if you haven’t played/watched someone play it, “What remains of Edith Finch” is an excellent game and Jacksepticeye does a wonderful let’s play of it :D

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?Not as much anymore, but I used to hate bringing up “...And the Things That Followed.” Just for a short what-for: ATTTF is a Left4Dead/2 fanfiction, reader-insert that started as a sort of experiment: I perused lunaescence and picked a fandom that I was familiar with, but that didn’t have a lot of fanfiction to choose from. I mostly wanted to see if smaller fandoms stay active, even with very little content to choose from. And boy, did I get my answer.

The biggest reason that I ended up embarrassed over it was because I hadn’t intended it to be a romance fic (I mean...the two main characters are the reader and a Hunter, and what with necrophilia being really gross and all...), but I had readers out and out demand for it, to the point of going on strike from reading my fanfic. This was years ago, mind you, so I caved like a wet noodle and now hate that particular fanfic, to the point where I don’t even want to write the two sequels that I already had planned and half-written.

So, it started out as embarrassment, now its more I wish I could just delete it and forget it exists, but I’m one of those authors who has a really hard time deleting anything, even things I hate haha.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?For the very first, ultimate scene I picture in each fic/story/novel, it could really end up anywhere in the final version.

After that first initial scene I see, I try to start as far back as I think I can get away with and move forward from there, so I guess the short answer is I write from beginning to end, no matter how it ends up being at the end, haha.

4) favorite character you’ve writtenI guess this is supposed to not include characters I don’t own, but that’s no fun so here you go:

OC: A supernatural Hunter named Silva and another hunter (who I have an rp blog for) named Theodora ‘Timmie’ Wilson

Non-OC: Writing Yusuke from YYH and Asgore from UT

5) character you were most surprised to end up writingI’m not quite sure what this question means, so I’ll just take a stab and guess it’s talking about how a character can end up differently on paper than how you first envisioned them in your head.

And that award goes to Silva. I expected her to be a hard, cold killer, but she had so much inner turmoil and hidden thoughts that she was definitely the hardest character to write until I actually started to understand her.

Which took an ungodly amount of time, tbh haha.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change nowProbably how often I use the double-hyphen. Its meant to be an alternative to using commas (which, I use to many as it is anyway haha), but now they litter my writing like popcorn on the floor at a midnight release, haha.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?Honestly? A little of both.

I’m someone who sees fanfiction (and any fanwork at all, tbh) as legitimate art forms, but there are so many who not only don’t agree, but they belittle and question those who participate in fandoms.

There are days I have all my shit together and I’m ready to defend my fanfiction to the death, along with all my original content; I have my sources, I have examples, so on and so forth, but other days...

Well, let’s just say there are days I don’t even volunteer that information to people willingly haha.

8) favorite genre to writeOther than fanfiction, I love horror, fantasy, and scifi the best, though there are plenty of times it feels like I’m hardly writing for any of those genres at all, haha.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?Fanfiction, most of the time, but I also listen to songs on the radio, discuss ideas with friends/family (my step-dad was the only person when I was growing up who nurtured my love for telling stories and many of my ideas for novels came from talking with him over the years), or I also like to free-write.

At least, I think its called free-writing haha. I basically just put my pen on paper and just talk to the page with my pen. Sometimes, its just a rant, but more often then not, I’ll find a story or character hidden there.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?All of the above, haha. In the perfect atmosphere, music is playing in the background, and I’m completely alone with no distractions, but since that’s not reality, I’ve sort of forced myself to adapt to what I can.

My computer (where I do 90% of my writing) is in the living room of my house, so my hubby is usually around, and if he’s playing overwatch, then its usually a few voices playing in the background.

If it gets to be too distracting, I just put headphones in, but I also write in notebooks and I take those everywhere, so for that, I just write when/what I can as I go along.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?Definitely dialogue, but also my prose. Honestly, all of it, haha. I look back at stuff I wrote years ago and I wonder how anybody thought I was any good, haha.

12) your weaknesses as an authorIf I had to pick one, its probably that I tend to either over-explain, or under-explain. There is no in-between, haha. My first drafts are often a mess of me focusing in on the details of one room and then not describing a setting for two chapters or more.

13) your strengths as an authorProbably my ability to logically follow order of events, even though I don’t plot, like, at all. This also makes it easy to see where I can divert from what’s expected and explore different avenues.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?Not really? I tend to either put my whole library on shuffle, or I have a dedicated writing playlist that’s full of background music from video games and other things like that.

15) why did you start writing?It started as an outlet.

When I was about 10, my dad came home from work one day while my mom was still at work and while I watched, packed all his stuff into his car, called my mother and told her that if she didn’t get off work soon I’d be home alone, and then left.

I was in a complete and total depression from around then until well into my late teens (I have a little depression now, and a slew of other problems, but now for diff reasons). On top of my dad leaving, my mother, step-father and I all moved to a completely new state, where I started to bomb academically and had literally no friends until almost a year later.

It started out as angsty pre-teen poetry (a lot of which actually still pretty good, even as I go back to read it), then it spilled into fanfiction and fandoms, and around the age of 13--once my step-dad found my love of writing and wanted to pull me away from fanfiction--I finally started writing original ideas out.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?Silva, and a few others. Not so much because their stories are left untold, but moreso because of the way they helped shape me as a writer and the things I was interested in writing about.

The debate about whether or not a writer should write about a certain subject usually stems from readers, but I tend to lean toward the argument from a writer’s point of view: there are subjects that I broached as a teenager that I needed to explore in order to be who I am today, as a person and as a writer. Not to say I have something horrible in my writer’s past that I wouldn’t be able to share, but more that it might be questionable about the age that I delved into those topics. (and no, I don’t mean just smut, though that is included in what I’m talking about)

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?Stop wasting your time trying to please family members with what you write. Most of them are going to ignore the whole of your writing and focus in on the one swear word you threw in for characterization anyway.

Write what makes you happy; whether or not its publishable isn’t the point. You’re just starting out and you need to write; to get better, to learn the ropes, so just go WRITE!

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?Oh geez...at the beginning, everything I read affected my writing style. Fanfiction, published novels, everything.

Probably my biggest influencers would be “The Green Mile” by Stephen King, “The Hobbit” by JRR Tolkien, “This Present Darkness” By Frank Peretti.

And while these are hugely different authors with different writing styles, they more influenced me in my way of thinking. Of expanding my imagination of what could be if I just had the courage to write it.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?I either have a notebook filled with notes about characters/information, or I use a website called Hiveword(dot)com. It’s a novel tracking website that also advertises its program (which you have to pay for), but the website itself is free and you can store all the information about your book, characters, timeline, etc.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?Both, but I get more done with longer sessions. I know that seems like a no-brainer, but its more because of how I prep myself for my writing time:

I have to have a glass of water or cup of coffee, I have to have my music playing (which, with spotify could take a few minutes to load), I have to re-read the last page or so of what was previously written so I can get back into the feel of it, then I can actually sit down and write.

the little spurts end up being in my notebooks and they’re a mess, honestly, haha.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?I used to cringe and close it immediately, but I’ve been trying to analyze and see the biggest differences in my writings from a then and now standpoint. Sometimes its really hard, if its particularly bad or whatev, but its been a real confidence booster when I can see where I was and where I am now.

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?Not uncomfortable, per se, but I tend to try and think of things from a reader’s perspective at the same time I write, so there are times when I get a little too involved in what’s happening on the page, haha.

HIAPOTS was a terror to write at some points because of this.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?All of it, if I’m being honest, but obscure things specifically? Hmm...

I mean, probably the fact that I give all my pets personalities and conversations between each other? I do it without thinking, but there are times where I’ll find myself using lines or situations from this weird little thing in my actual writings, haha.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?OMG SO MUCH. Like, idk about ‘expert’, but I have so much useless trivia in my head because of being an author. Talk with me for an hour and see if I don’t throw ‘fun facts’ into the mix of our conversations haha.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud ofOh ugh...umm...let me to look...

From a currently unpublished reader/sans fic I’m writing:You understand, don’t you, Sans? 

Sure, Sans understood. Sans always understood. He was the one who didn’t make waves, or overturn boats--you could always count on Sans to be the reassuring nod when you felt lost or the understanding ex who’s perfectly okay with just letting things die, even though the ending came as the greatest punchline ever written in history:

He hadn’t even seen it coming.

(I love delving into characters’ heads, and i love it more when i can do it well enough to feel comfortable with letting other people read it, haha)

From Part 6 of my Garrus/Reader serial fic:“They were my cases,” Garrus admitted, his eyes finally leaving Castis’s in favor of looking at the floor, “And I can’t watch it happen again.”

If Castis didn’t have such a steely reign on his composure now, Garrus might have been clued into his father’s line of thought. As it was, Castis was being forced to realize that he had been wrong in his assessments of his son.The older turian had always thought Garrus shirked the rules and regulations as a form of rebellion, since Castis stepped in and forced him to quit training for the spectres--as if to prove he didn’t care about what his father cared about. Now, Castis realized the reason Garrus pushed them aside so easily was because he did care, maybe too much.

(Honestly, the whole argument between Castis and Garrus in this part of the fic is something I’m proud of)

[jesatria]

The Other Princeps, Chap 32

Title: The Other Princeps Fandom: Codex Alera Characters: Aquitainus Attis, Amara, Antillus Raucus, Ensemble Pairings: past!Attis/Invidia, slight past!Attis/Septimus, Attis/OCs Word Count: 3,145 Rating: R Summary: In which Attis’s confrontation with Invidia during the Battle of Riva goes better for him. AU. WIP. Warnings: Massive spoilers for First Lord’s Fury. Disclaimer: I do not own the Codex Alera. This is only for fun & no profit is being made from it. Previous Chapters:

1. A Close Escape | 2. Appearances | 3. Endurance | 4. New Allies | 5. The Message | 6. Night Companions | 7. A Warm Welcome | 8. The Second Wall | 9. A Brief Respite | 10. The Offer | 11. The Test | 12. Garrison | 13. Final Preparations | 14. The Assassins | 15. The End | 16. After the End | 17. Face to Face | 18. News & Negotiations | 19. Taking Stock | 20. Memorials | 21. Clearing the Air | 22. Renewal | 23. The Road to Aquitaine | 24. The Battle of Aquitaine | 25. Homecoming | 26. Camilla | 27. The Children | 28. Settling In | 29. Adjustments | 30. Discussions | 31. The Proposal

Chapter 32: Breaking the News

         We decided to share the news with my children first. Phaidros, predictably, reacted with the most enthusiasm. “So you really will be my mother now?” he asked Camilla as he wrapped his arms around her.

         “Yes, Phaidros,” she replied, patting him on the back. I supposed the idea of a man marrying his mistress wasn’t an entirely foreign idea to a boy who’d grown up in a brothel. This did occasionally happen when a patron decided to marry a girl he’d grown fond of.

         Thyra, by contrast, was shocked. “Can you… do that?” she managed to ask.

         “We’ll see what happens when I ask the First Lord for permission, but I am confident he will agree. He intends to reform the marriage laws so Citizens can marry whoever we desire.” She gaped at me with wide eyes—as a noble, she’d likely known all about the marriage laws even if her bastard status would’ve made a good match unlikely for her. Or perhaps she didn’t believe Octavian would actually make good on his promise. “I assure you, Thyra, we are completely sincere.”

         “Oh, I don’t doubt that—to be honest I’ve been practicing my metalcrafted shields more often lately largely because the feelings I get from both of you when you’re together are rather… intense,” she admitted.

         Both Camilla and I had a laugh at that. “That strong, are we?” I did have a tendency to relax my shields when around her, making my feelings obvious to anyone with watercrafting as strong as Thyra’s.

         “You must know the Citizenry will be furious about this,” Thyra continued. “They’ll think you were stringing them along, that you never took any of those marriage offers seriously.”

         “I swear I was sincerely considering them, until I came to a realization last night that is,” I assured her. “I can handle the Citizenry. It helps to not give a damn what they think.”

         Thyra smiled. “Good thing I’ve already got experience in that area.”

         Melitta greeted our announcement with similar excitement as Phaidros had. The girl still regarded me with a certain degree of awe and seemed to have a fascination with Camilla. For her part, Camilla found this endearing and did all she could to help Melitta feel at home. It was working, as she was gradually coming out of her shell. Both she and Phaidros absolutely loved their crafting lessons and went about them with an enthusiasm which reminded me of myself when I was young.

         Telling the family would be an entirely different matter from telling my children. I opted to wait for dinner before breaking the news to them. “I have an announcement to make,” I began once the meal had concluded. Silence gradually fell over the table, which now included my children—I’d by this time introduced them to the rest of the family. “We can put the question of my marriage to rest. I have chosen to marry Camilla.” More silence. They stared at me, likely trying to guess if I were joking. “This is no jest. Camilla and I are quite sincere.”

         Waves of shock hit me. Their faces were stunned, mouths agape, as they tried to process what I’d just said. Elania, predictably, was the first to recover. “Have you taken leave of your senses? You cannot possibly be serious!”

         “I am completely serious, dear Aunt. I have given the matter serious thought and I have decided that this is where my heart truly lies.” I smiled. “It was never anywhere else.”

         “Marrying your mistress, an infamous courtesan.” Elania shook her head. “The very idea is madness. You’ll cause a huge scandal!”

         “And our new First Lady is a Marat,” I retorted. “Welcome to the new Alera! If I want to marry a courtesan instead of a Citizen then by crows I’ll do it!”

         “The Citizenry will not be pleased about this, Attis,” Eolus interjected. “They’ll consider it an insult.”

         “And I can’t find it in me to give a damn what they’ll think. I can deal with them. Let them talk. If I have to meet some of them in the juris macto, so be it. They’ll have to accept it once I get the First Lord’s approval.”

         “You are certain you’ll get it?” Elania inquired.

         “Absolutely certain. He told me he means to reform the marriage laws,” I replied.

         “Well then, I suppose there will be no dissuading you,” Elania conceded, “but I do  not think this is a politically sound decision.”

         “I don’t give a damn about that,” I retorted. “My first marriage was made for political concerns and it was a disaster. Forgive me for not pursuing the same this time around.”

         “That could’ve gone worse,” Camilla remarked as we walked to my chambers after dinner was over. “I hope your aunt won’t continue to disapprove of us.”

         “She won’t. Well, at least she’ll not do anything to actively oppose us. She was virulently against me marrying Invidia, but was forced to grudgingly accept it. I think she’ll come to accept this in time,” I answered.

         “I hope you’re right. I’d rather not have the enmity of anyone in your family. The hatred of the entire Citizenry—at least the women—is quite enough,” she remarked, grasping my arm.

         “Don’t worry about the Citizenry,” I told her. “What of your family? I imagine they’ll be pleased.”

         “Oh, they’ll be elated,” she replied. “It’s the dream of every courtesan to find such stability for herself. Marrying the High Lord is nearly a dream beyond imagining, given the laws. To be perfectly honest, I never thought you and I would marry. I never expected it. I was perfectly happy to be your consort. This… is something else altogether.”

         “Well, you’ll be unsurprised to know I never thought of marrying you until last night. It never would’ve been possible under the old laws and so the thought never occurred to me. Marriage and love have been entirely separate concepts to me for years, until now that is,” I admitted. This had been my understanding for most of my life. I’d been raised with the expectation that I’d marry a member of the Citizenry for political connections and children with strong crafting abilities. With this knowledge, I also became aware that there were plenty of opportunities for love and pleasure outside of marriage. It was common practice among the Citizenry. Even my father, who loved my mother, was known to patronize courtesans from time to time. Is it any wonder, then, that it took me a bit of time to break free of such assumptions?

         “You and I are very alike in that way. I was always taught that it was doom for a courtesan to love a patron. Both my mother and aunt tried to warn me when they noticed me falling for you.” She gave my arm a brief squeeze. “Every day I’m glad they turned out to be wrong.”

         Camilla was entirely correct about how her family would react to us. Her mother and aunt were both positively ecstatic and her brother was pleased at the news. Sabina immediately wanted to hold a party to celebrate our engagement, but as the Midsummer Festival was nearly upon us there was little sense in having another party just for that. It was my plan for the Midsummer Festival to proceed as it would in any other year. The people needed a return to normalcy and the Festival was the perfect opportunity for it. “I doubt the people would tolerate going without the Midsummer Festival,” I remarked to Camilla as we made our way back to the palace.

         “Oh, no doubt there would be riots,” Camilla added. The Midsummer Festival consisted of a week of celebrations, culminatimg in an extravagant ball on the day of the summer solstice. Aquitaine was rather known for its Midsummer festivities throughout Alera and preparations would usually start months in advance. This year we would have less than a month.

         “Are you entirely up to handling the preparations, my dear?” I laid a hand on Camilla’s arm. “It’s one of the High Lady’s responsibilities. I can certainly assist you as much as I am able.”

         “Well, I suppose it’ll be a good test for me,” she replied. “Though it’s not the first ball I’ve organized, it will be my first time organizing something on this scale.”

         As soon as we arrived at the palace, Camilla immediately began the process of moving the possessions she hadn’t already brought over into her chambers. A decent portion of her possessions were gifts given by adoring patrons, including myself. It was common to offer a courtesan gifts, especially jewelry, as signs of particular favor in addition to her standard fee. “I hadn’t quite realized until today precisely how much jewelry you have,” I commented as servants carried her jewelry boxes into the palace.

         “I suppose I’ll need to get rid of much of it soon.”

         I raised an eyebrow. “Why exactly would you do that?”

         “Because I have many pieces given to me by other patrons. If I’m to be your new Lady Aquitaine, I can hardly wear them.”

         I gaped at her, honestly shocked by her response. “Why on earth do you think I would ask you to do such a thing? Do you think I consider your past something shameful that needs to be hidden?”

         “No, not exactly, but do you really want me wearing jewels given to me by other men once I’m married to you?” she inquired.

         “I couldn’t possibly care less about that! Your past is not a source of shame for me—on the contrary, I consider it a mark in your favor! Don’t forget I first heard about you from Vitellus.” I pulled her into my arms. “I don’t give a damn about what the Citizenry think is proper.”

         She grinned. “Well then, I’m glad we’re both fully committed to the scandal we’re about to cause.”

         “If we’re going to cause one inevitably, we might as well not do it by halves,” I replied. Once all of her baggage was unloaded I led her into her new chambers, which had recently been Invidia’s chambers.

         They were exactly as they’d been before Invidia disappeared. The only people to come inside had been servants cleaning. All of her possessions were still there, as I hadn’t yet seen fit to dispose of them. I led Camilla through the solar and study and into the bedchamber. It felt strange standing there with her—I’d tended to avoid Invidia’s chambers, as the thought of her living in my mother’s chambers always rankled. She tended to come to mine on those occasions when we slept together. But now I could truly purge the rooms of every trace of her. “Feel free to help yourself to anything of Invidia’s you desire. She had a large collection of jewelry herself.”

         Camilla raised an eyebrow as I drew back the drapes. “Were some of the pieces from you?”

         “Aside from those traditionally belonging to the High Lady of Aquitaine which I was obligated to give her, yes. Appearances needed to be kept up.”

         “Of course.” She set her jewelry boxes down on the vanity table and began looking through Invidia’s. “You’ve always had good taste in jewelry.”

         “Thank you.” Being in this room reminded me of how much I’d disliked the way Invidia had redecorated it when she’d moved in. She’d seen fit to replace my mother’s frescoes of garden scenes with frescoes of pillars and other architectural elements. I found them to be rather dull, though they were well-done from a technical perspective. “Now that these chambers are yours, you are welcome to redecorate them however you like,” I informed her.

         Camilla halted in her perusal of the jewelry and took a moment to view the frescoes. “I think I can come up with something better than this.”

         “Something more like your bedchamber at the villa?”

         “Precisely.”

         “That would certainly be an improvement.” We spent a decent amount of time in there as Camilla unpacked her things. This involved sorting through Invidia’s clothes in order to make room for her own. Camilla was particularly taken with the gowns made of color-changing fabric and resolved to have them altered to fit her, although Invidia was both taller and more slender than she was. While she went through the clothes, I took some time to sort out the jewelry which had been my mother’s.

         “These belonged to my mother,” I told her. “Some of them are jewels traditionally belonging to the High Lady of Aquitaine and have been in the family for generations. They’re yours now.”

         “Oh Attis, thank you,” she said softly, accepting them from my hands. “It must’ve galled you, giving them to Invidia.”

         “Yes. I would’ve given them to you some time ago if I could. Seeing Invidia wearing the jewelry was not something I wanted to deal with shortly after losing my mother,” I admitted. She’d passed away two years after my father. It had hit me particularly hard, as she’d been one of the only close confidants I had left. It was also the event which led to the first major shift in my relationship with Camilla. I’d gone to her to forget my grief and ended up sharing my feelings with her. She’d reacted with genuine sympathy and understanding beyond the affected feelings typically displayed by courtesans and whores. In that moment our relationship made its first steps from courtesan and patron to something more.

         Camilla examined the pieces, holding some of the necklaces up to her throat and looking herself over in the mirror. “What would she think of us if she were here, your mother? Would she approve?”

         “Probably not initially, though she’d likely come around eventually after seeing how happy you make me,” I replied. “She did come to realize what Invidia was and told me on her deathbed that she regretted forcing me to marry her.”

         “That would be the least she could do,” Camilla remarked, setting the necklaces back into the box. She met my eyes. “Thank you for all of this, Attis. I hope that I’ll be able to meet your expectations for a wife and High Lady. I know well what a trial your first marriage was and I want you to be happy.”

         I pulled her into my arms. “I can’t see any way that you wouldn’t. Now all we need to do is weather the coming storm when I send out the rejection letters.”

         Storm turned out to be an apt description. The rejection letters had scarcely gone out before the angry responses began pouring in. I didn’t specify who I’d chosen for my bride in them, but the word had gotten out. How could it not, now that the household knew? I proceeded to paythe angry responses little mind, which wasn’t hard given how much there was to do in preparation for the upcoming festival. By contrast, obtaining permission from Octavian was easy. He gave us his consent, but advised us to wait until he formally reformed the marriage laws.

         That evening, Camilla and I spent some time looking over the responses to my rejection letters. I noted with some amusement that she seemed to take their opposition to her as a badge of honor. “Listen to this one—‘It is a disgrace to our city that you see fit to marry your lowborn mistress,’” she read.

         “And my ‘lowborn mistress’ will be a far better wife and companion than any woman of the Citizenry,” I retorted. “That’s one who has apparently heard the rumors. I hope you are not bothered by that.”

         “Rumors? Of course not.” Camilla picked up a grape and ate it slowly. I couldn’t help but watch her intently. “There have been rumors swirling about me since before I made my debut and this one has the merit of being true.” She held a grape to my mouth; my lips brushed against her fingertips as I took it.

         “I wonder how many of them are aware of your pregnancy.” She had now reached the point where it was beginning to show, but that was easy enough to conceal if desired. My children and the rest of the family knew, and doubtless the servants did as well. But in all honestly, our engagement was a bigger scandal than her pregnancy. A High Lord getting a child on his mistress was hardly unusual. “Octavian suggested we wait a while before getting married so he can make the necessary legal changes to the marriage laws.”

         She pursed her lips, considering it. “That does make sense. I suppose, then, our child will be born before the wedding.”

         “Yes. That will be somewhat of a grey area when it comes to legitimacy. I’ll have to speak to Octavian about it.”

         “So what do you mean to do about a legitimate heir?”

         “I haven’t decided yet. Our child could be considered retroactively legitimate after we wed, or I could choose to make one of my illegitimate children my heir, as Raucus suggested. We shall have to see,” I replied.

         She ate a few more grapes. “Do you think any Citizens will decide to make a scene during the gala?”

         “I daresay some might try, and I shall have to answer them if and when they do.”

         She smiled. “It is quite a contradiction, really. The city loves its courtesans as long as they remain in their place and do not rise to become High Lady.”

         She made a good point—courtesans were celebrated, but in their proper place. “You are right about that, and I myself was no exception. But perhaps now, with you as the new High Lady of Aquitaine, that attitude will begin to change. We are in the new Alera, after all,” I replied with a grin. “In the meantime, the city will likely all but go into mourning for you, now that I’ve taken you off the market permanently.” It was true that some potential patrons had decided to stay away from the High Lord’s mistress, but it hadn’t driven them all away entirely until Camilla moved into the palace with me and stopped accepting patrons.

         “That reminds me,” Camilla began, “will you be expecting me to be completely faithful to you once we’re married?”

         “No, no, just use some discretion and make sure you don’t bear another man’s child. I’m hardly the man to lecture anyone about fidelity.”

         “That you are not.”

         “I assume you have accepted that I will not be faithful to you?”

         She threw back her head and laughed. “Of course. How could I not, when you keep three concubines here? I know you all too well, Attis—you are not a man who can be tamed or contained.”

         I drank the last of my wine and moved to kiss her. “Indeed I am not.”